GAAAHHH Life

I'm alive, I swear. I'm alive and have been failing at this whole "diet/eating well/exercising/making smart decisions" thing for the past few months, so maybe if I just start writing, start tracking on WW again, doing all of the things I'm supposed to do, the rest will follow. Tonight this isn't an especially interesting entry, it's more so just for me to put pen to paper...wait...fingers to keyboard.

(Doesn't pen to paper sound much better? Stupid technology ruining my terminology.)

So on the health front...yeah. I think I went to the gym 3 times this summer after I got back from cousin wedding 1 and housing went crazy. Kind of lost my way there with everything and never really got back on track. Luckily, I haven't gained tons by any means, I've pretty much just maintained for the past few months, but still it's annoying since I was on a roll there for a while and now I'm stuck at the same point. I haven't been tracking, which is dumb. I finally tracked today, but of course I tracked after the fact. AFTER I had eaten all of the bad food (chocolate, beer, ect).

My actual meal decisions aren't horrendous, it's the snacking that will do me in. And the lack of vegetables. What's up with that? It's like I never have them in the house anymore, or else I buy them and they go bad. What am I doing? Do I just buy too much of one vegetable, get sick of it, and end up throwing half of it out? Or I buy something with GRAND intentions in mind (read as: buying tomatoes and intending to make...roasted tomatoes. When I say grand, it's all relative). I just...forget. Or have no protein that suits my veggie cravings, and then I'm left with my standard awkward meal. Like dinner with the housemates last night that was some combo of roasted butternut squash, tilapia, pasta, summer squash, cheese, and rice pudding. This ended up being a sort of impromptu potluck, but still...left to my own devices, the butternut squash and tilapia combo were still totally happening. OH weird meals. I haven't been cooking lately, and I've sort of missed you.

We're not going to get into my school rantings, because that's another entry in itself. The short version: I didn't get any roles in the productions this year, I'm irritated, but as of today I have a renewed sense of buckling back down to work so I can regroup, do my own thing, and kick some ass. You know, on whatever independent projects I and my fellow 2nd year grads have to piece together ourselves since we're not in anything the opera department is producing. Le sigh. At least I'm in good rejected company.

So that's that. Getting back to things now that school has begun again. I have moderate faith that I'll be able to get back on track. And hopefully I won't avoid blogging for months at a time. Thank you.

EDIT: DUDE I have literally not blogged since June and now that it's past midnight this entry counts as SEPTEMBER. I thought I at least had one in July, but no. FAIL.SORRY.

Look

School's almost over. Everything will be great after next Wednesday when I have juries. But now I've got this stupid paper to write so I'm going to do that rather than worry about blog postings. Which I'm pretty lame at already. So bye.

Lost again this week. Horrah. Bye, paper time.

"Ou vas-tu? Ta douleur t'egare!"

Quickie post as I collect my thoughts and intend to do a better post later. I missed my usual Wednesday Weigh In update because...I just did. Tonight was our opera workshop scenes recital which was 3 1/2 hours long and just drained all energy out of our entire department. Sigh. But it went. It went alright, I think I sounded okay though I still wasn't super happy with it. Lack of connection, I think. It was all thrown up so fast that I didn't do enough work on my character and as a result felt very disconnected from the scene. But it's over now, so that's that. For anyone wondering it was a scene from Rossini's "Guillaume Tell" (in French. Oh yes) and I was Mathilde. Sauve Guillaume. Il meurt victime de son amour de son pays. Yes sir.

Today I was also in a general funk, which I attribute to many things, but in no small part to my lack of gym for over a week. I know, I know. Timing has been strange this week. I had to buy clothes/dress rehearsal Tuesday and get groceries yesterday. The weekend was lost to various recitals and pure laziness. I WANT to go back, I just don't think I can before maybe Saturday and then not again until maybe Tuesday. But I want to keep moving, I really do like it even though it makes me smelly.

Crashing now after that LONG concert. Well done all performers, everyone was brilliant and true opera slaves tonight. Well done.