Ugh. I'm completely off track. I've been eating everything in sight, vegetables are hardly existent in my diet. It's all been microwave meals and takeout. I'm not even happy with it. It's not like I've been eating "good" bad for me food. That would be one thing. This is just lazy food, and it's costing me too much in my weight and my wallet. It's awful and it needs to stop. I need to count again and get back to the gym. Ugh. I would love to say I'm starting tomorrow. Maybe I am. But I feel like I keep declaring "That's it, I'm back on track tomorrow" and then tomorrow comes and I make more bad decisions. Ugh.
I can't remember what kicked my butt to get me to be on track for so long last year. Maybe it was the prospect of getting in shape for my music career, and now maybe I've lost focus since casting has gone so crapastically. But that's no good since I know I have multiple performances and possible auditions coming up in a few short months. So. Really, I need to get back on things, and I at least hope that Wednesday comes and I get myself back together.
This is absurd. I worked too hard to throw it in now that I've come this far. And it would suck out loud to get 1 pound away from under 200 only to gain everything back. Seriously, that would suck. So really, self, let's get it together.
GAAAHHH Life
I'm alive, I swear. I'm alive and have been failing at this whole "diet/eating well/exercising/making smart decisions" thing for the past few months, so maybe if I just start writing, start tracking on WW again, doing all of the things I'm supposed to do, the rest will follow. Tonight this isn't an especially interesting entry, it's more so just for me to put pen to paper...wait...fingers to keyboard.
(Doesn't pen to paper sound much better? Stupid technology ruining my terminology.)
So on the health front...yeah. I think I went to the gym 3 times this summer after I got back from cousin wedding 1 and housing went crazy. Kind of lost my way there with everything and never really got back on track. Luckily, I haven't gained tons by any means, I've pretty much just maintained for the past few months, but still it's annoying since I was on a roll there for a while and now I'm stuck at the same point. I haven't been tracking, which is dumb. I finally tracked today, but of course I tracked after the fact. AFTER I had eaten all of the bad food (chocolate, beer, ect).
My actual meal decisions aren't horrendous, it's the snacking that will do me in. And the lack of vegetables. What's up with that? It's like I never have them in the house anymore, or else I buy them and they go bad. What am I doing? Do I just buy too much of one vegetable, get sick of it, and end up throwing half of it out? Or I buy something with GRAND intentions in mind (read as: buying tomatoes and intending to make...roasted tomatoes. When I say grand, it's all relative). I just...forget. Or have no protein that suits my veggie cravings, and then I'm left with my standard awkward meal. Like dinner with the housemates last night that was some combo of roasted butternut squash, tilapia, pasta, summer squash, cheese, and rice pudding. This ended up being a sort of impromptu potluck, but still...left to my own devices, the butternut squash and tilapia combo were still totally happening. OH weird meals. I haven't been cooking lately, and I've sort of missed you.
We're not going to get into my school rantings, because that's another entry in itself. The short version: I didn't get any roles in the productions this year, I'm irritated, but as of today I have a renewed sense of buckling back down to work so I can regroup, do my own thing, and kick some ass. You know, on whatever independent projects I and my fellow 2nd year grads have to piece together ourselves since we're not in anything the opera department is producing. Le sigh. At least I'm in good rejected company.
So that's that. Getting back to things now that school has begun again. I have moderate faith that I'll be able to get back on track. And hopefully I won't avoid blogging for months at a time. Thank you.
EDIT: DUDE I have literally not blogged since June and now that it's past midnight this entry counts as SEPTEMBER. I thought I at least had one in July, but no. FAIL.SORRY.
(Doesn't pen to paper sound much better? Stupid technology ruining my terminology.)
So on the health front...yeah. I think I went to the gym 3 times this summer after I got back from cousin wedding 1 and housing went crazy. Kind of lost my way there with everything and never really got back on track. Luckily, I haven't gained tons by any means, I've pretty much just maintained for the past few months, but still it's annoying since I was on a roll there for a while and now I'm stuck at the same point. I haven't been tracking, which is dumb. I finally tracked today, but of course I tracked after the fact. AFTER I had eaten all of the bad food (chocolate, beer, ect).
My actual meal decisions aren't horrendous, it's the snacking that will do me in. And the lack of vegetables. What's up with that? It's like I never have them in the house anymore, or else I buy them and they go bad. What am I doing? Do I just buy too much of one vegetable, get sick of it, and end up throwing half of it out? Or I buy something with GRAND intentions in mind (read as: buying tomatoes and intending to make...roasted tomatoes. When I say grand, it's all relative). I just...forget. Or have no protein that suits my veggie cravings, and then I'm left with my standard awkward meal. Like dinner with the housemates last night that was some combo of roasted butternut squash, tilapia, pasta, summer squash, cheese, and rice pudding. This ended up being a sort of impromptu potluck, but still...left to my own devices, the butternut squash and tilapia combo were still totally happening. OH weird meals. I haven't been cooking lately, and I've sort of missed you.
We're not going to get into my school rantings, because that's another entry in itself. The short version: I didn't get any roles in the productions this year, I'm irritated, but as of today I have a renewed sense of buckling back down to work so I can regroup, do my own thing, and kick some ass. You know, on whatever independent projects I and my fellow 2nd year grads have to piece together ourselves since we're not in anything the opera department is producing. Le sigh. At least I'm in good rejected company.
So that's that. Getting back to things now that school has begun again. I have moderate faith that I'll be able to get back on track. And hopefully I won't avoid blogging for months at a time. Thank you.
EDIT: DUDE I have literally not blogged since June and now that it's past midnight this entry counts as SEPTEMBER. I thought I at least had one in July, but no. FAIL.SORRY.
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