Ugh. I'm completely off track. I've been eating everything in sight, vegetables are hardly existent in my diet. It's all been microwave meals and takeout. I'm not even happy with it. It's not like I've been eating "good" bad for me food. That would be one thing. This is just lazy food, and it's costing me too much in my weight and my wallet. It's awful and it needs to stop. I need to count again and get back to the gym. Ugh. I would love to say I'm starting tomorrow. Maybe I am. But I feel like I keep declaring "That's it, I'm back on track tomorrow" and then tomorrow comes and I make more bad decisions. Ugh.
I can't remember what kicked my butt to get me to be on track for so long last year. Maybe it was the prospect of getting in shape for my music career, and now maybe I've lost focus since casting has gone so crapastically. But that's no good since I know I have multiple performances and possible auditions coming up in a few short months. So. Really, I need to get back on things, and I at least hope that Wednesday comes and I get myself back together.
This is absurd. I worked too hard to throw it in now that I've come this far. And it would suck out loud to get 1 pound away from under 200 only to gain everything back. Seriously, that would suck. So really, self, let's get it together.
Showing posts with label bad choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad choices. Show all posts
GAAAHHH Life
I'm alive, I swear. I'm alive and have been failing at this whole "diet/eating well/exercising/making smart decisions" thing for the past few months, so maybe if I just start writing, start tracking on WW again, doing all of the things I'm supposed to do, the rest will follow. Tonight this isn't an especially interesting entry, it's more so just for me to put pen to paper...wait...fingers to keyboard.
(Doesn't pen to paper sound much better? Stupid technology ruining my terminology.)
So on the health front...yeah. I think I went to the gym 3 times this summer after I got back from cousin wedding 1 and housing went crazy. Kind of lost my way there with everything and never really got back on track. Luckily, I haven't gained tons by any means, I've pretty much just maintained for the past few months, but still it's annoying since I was on a roll there for a while and now I'm stuck at the same point. I haven't been tracking, which is dumb. I finally tracked today, but of course I tracked after the fact. AFTER I had eaten all of the bad food (chocolate, beer, ect).
My actual meal decisions aren't horrendous, it's the snacking that will do me in. And the lack of vegetables. What's up with that? It's like I never have them in the house anymore, or else I buy them and they go bad. What am I doing? Do I just buy too much of one vegetable, get sick of it, and end up throwing half of it out? Or I buy something with GRAND intentions in mind (read as: buying tomatoes and intending to make...roasted tomatoes. When I say grand, it's all relative). I just...forget. Or have no protein that suits my veggie cravings, and then I'm left with my standard awkward meal. Like dinner with the housemates last night that was some combo of roasted butternut squash, tilapia, pasta, summer squash, cheese, and rice pudding. This ended up being a sort of impromptu potluck, but still...left to my own devices, the butternut squash and tilapia combo were still totally happening. OH weird meals. I haven't been cooking lately, and I've sort of missed you.
We're not going to get into my school rantings, because that's another entry in itself. The short version: I didn't get any roles in the productions this year, I'm irritated, but as of today I have a renewed sense of buckling back down to work so I can regroup, do my own thing, and kick some ass. You know, on whatever independent projects I and my fellow 2nd year grads have to piece together ourselves since we're not in anything the opera department is producing. Le sigh. At least I'm in good rejected company.
So that's that. Getting back to things now that school has begun again. I have moderate faith that I'll be able to get back on track. And hopefully I won't avoid blogging for months at a time. Thank you.
EDIT: DUDE I have literally not blogged since June and now that it's past midnight this entry counts as SEPTEMBER. I thought I at least had one in July, but no. FAIL.SORRY.
(Doesn't pen to paper sound much better? Stupid technology ruining my terminology.)
So on the health front...yeah. I think I went to the gym 3 times this summer after I got back from cousin wedding 1 and housing went crazy. Kind of lost my way there with everything and never really got back on track. Luckily, I haven't gained tons by any means, I've pretty much just maintained for the past few months, but still it's annoying since I was on a roll there for a while and now I'm stuck at the same point. I haven't been tracking, which is dumb. I finally tracked today, but of course I tracked after the fact. AFTER I had eaten all of the bad food (chocolate, beer, ect).
My actual meal decisions aren't horrendous, it's the snacking that will do me in. And the lack of vegetables. What's up with that? It's like I never have them in the house anymore, or else I buy them and they go bad. What am I doing? Do I just buy too much of one vegetable, get sick of it, and end up throwing half of it out? Or I buy something with GRAND intentions in mind (read as: buying tomatoes and intending to make...roasted tomatoes. When I say grand, it's all relative). I just...forget. Or have no protein that suits my veggie cravings, and then I'm left with my standard awkward meal. Like dinner with the housemates last night that was some combo of roasted butternut squash, tilapia, pasta, summer squash, cheese, and rice pudding. This ended up being a sort of impromptu potluck, but still...left to my own devices, the butternut squash and tilapia combo were still totally happening. OH weird meals. I haven't been cooking lately, and I've sort of missed you.
We're not going to get into my school rantings, because that's another entry in itself. The short version: I didn't get any roles in the productions this year, I'm irritated, but as of today I have a renewed sense of buckling back down to work so I can regroup, do my own thing, and kick some ass. You know, on whatever independent projects I and my fellow 2nd year grads have to piece together ourselves since we're not in anything the opera department is producing. Le sigh. At least I'm in good rejected company.
So that's that. Getting back to things now that school has begun again. I have moderate faith that I'll be able to get back on track. And hopefully I won't avoid blogging for months at a time. Thank you.
EDIT: DUDE I have literally not blogged since June and now that it's past midnight this entry counts as SEPTEMBER. I thought I at least had one in July, but no. FAIL.SORRY.
GIVE ME BACK MY POINTS!
WOW I am inconsistent with the posting.
Well here we are, another Wednesday another weigh-in. Only 1/2 pound this week, which falls solidly into the category of "unsurprising". It also falls into the category of "bad timing." Let's take the first one. I have been doing a strange job of hitting my points this week. As in, I hit them, I think I'm within them, but...it's like 34 points of carbs or something. Reason being there are no fresh vegetables in my house. I wanted to go grocery shopping, but I'm leaving for a 12 day trip and I didn't want to make a huge run before that. Obviously this does not answer everything. "So...why didn't you buy groceries a week ago and eat those?" Yes, yes, these are all good questions. I just sort of...didn't. Now that I'm not in school and not crazy busy and have loads of (unemployed) free time, I can't seem to be bothered to do anything at all. It's a conundrum. The busier I am, the more I accomplish. So basically this week has been nothing but a cycle of practice, occasional gym, and Netflix. And actually room cleaning, but Netflix was on during most of that, so same file.
The baby tiny loss is bad timing because tomorrow at 3:30 am the shuttle picks me up to take me to the airport for my first trip home since Christmas. Yay! But this trip falls over my birthday (a day I DO NOT intend to count, so there) as well as a crazy family wedding. So...I was sort of hoping I would lose a little bit more before I left so then if I gained a pound it wouldn't be such a big thing. I doubt I'll be very successful at losing while I'm home. I think I GAINED most of this weight (well...that's not totally true, but some of it) while I was home on my year off last year. Home makes me do nothing but sit around and stuff my face. Which can be fun, but not helpful.
I also won't have gym access while I'm home since 24 hour doesn't exist around me. I would say I'll go for walks, which still may happen, but the weather back home has been in the 90s every single day. We have a treadmill in the basement but...look, it's creepy down there. There are spiders. No one ever goes down there anymore since my brother isn't home to play video games and I think the spiders have taken over, I see way more than I did when I was a kid. I don't like it. But I'll try.
So yes, bad timing on my part for not busting my butt more this week and putting me in a better place. (Also, this is stupid, but I wanted to be able to say "I've lost 35." And I'm at 34, which is great, but "35" is a better number. I am quite happy that I'm back to a whole number of weight. The ".5" was bothering me. Am I crazy? Oh you better believe it, but at least I'm aware of THAT situation).
And for the post title: stupid Weight Watchers lowered me to 33 points a day. I NEEDED THOSE 7 A WEEK, DAMMIT! POOR TIMING! I really haven't gotten the hang of these points since they dipped me below 35. I don't know why this is such a thing for me. 38 was awesome, can we go back to that? Pleeeeaasseee????
Well here we are, another Wednesday another weigh-in. Only 1/2 pound this week, which falls solidly into the category of "unsurprising". It also falls into the category of "bad timing." Let's take the first one. I have been doing a strange job of hitting my points this week. As in, I hit them, I think I'm within them, but...it's like 34 points of carbs or something. Reason being there are no fresh vegetables in my house. I wanted to go grocery shopping, but I'm leaving for a 12 day trip and I didn't want to make a huge run before that. Obviously this does not answer everything. "So...why didn't you buy groceries a week ago and eat those?" Yes, yes, these are all good questions. I just sort of...didn't. Now that I'm not in school and not crazy busy and have loads of (unemployed) free time, I can't seem to be bothered to do anything at all. It's a conundrum. The busier I am, the more I accomplish. So basically this week has been nothing but a cycle of practice, occasional gym, and Netflix. And actually room cleaning, but Netflix was on during most of that, so same file.
The baby tiny loss is bad timing because tomorrow at 3:30 am the shuttle picks me up to take me to the airport for my first trip home since Christmas. Yay! But this trip falls over my birthday (a day I DO NOT intend to count, so there) as well as a crazy family wedding. So...I was sort of hoping I would lose a little bit more before I left so then if I gained a pound it wouldn't be such a big thing. I doubt I'll be very successful at losing while I'm home. I think I GAINED most of this weight (well...that's not totally true, but some of it) while I was home on my year off last year. Home makes me do nothing but sit around and stuff my face. Which can be fun, but not helpful.
I also won't have gym access while I'm home since 24 hour doesn't exist around me. I would say I'll go for walks, which still may happen, but the weather back home has been in the 90s every single day. We have a treadmill in the basement but...look, it's creepy down there. There are spiders. No one ever goes down there anymore since my brother isn't home to play video games and I think the spiders have taken over, I see way more than I did when I was a kid. I don't like it. But I'll try.
So yes, bad timing on my part for not busting my butt more this week and putting me in a better place. (Also, this is stupid, but I wanted to be able to say "I've lost 35." And I'm at 34, which is great, but "35" is a better number. I am quite happy that I'm back to a whole number of weight. The ".5" was bothering me. Am I crazy? Oh you better believe it, but at least I'm aware of THAT situation).
And for the post title: stupid Weight Watchers lowered me to 33 points a day. I NEEDED THOSE 7 A WEEK, DAMMIT! POOR TIMING! I really haven't gotten the hang of these points since they dipped me below 35. I don't know why this is such a thing for me. 38 was awesome, can we go back to that? Pleeeeaasseee????
All spent
Well, that did it. Thursday night and I am flat out of my weekly "extra point" cushion. Want to know how to exhaust your points in 2 days? Here's how! Recital desserts, rum drinks, wine, giant lunch at DeLessio's, solid pasta dinner at friend's house, Smitten ice cream, and cookies for dessert while re-watching HP7.1. I mean, I could be overestimating in how much oil was used in everything (and now that I'm thinking about it, I probably am. What I recording would be a LOT of oil), but I think I'm underestimating on the amount of salad dressing I used and the value of the pasta sauce, so it all balanced out. Scariest part? I actually went to the gym today, and even with gym points, I'm still sunk. What I'm saying is I feel very well fed.
AND now it's time to get back in order. Maybe put some vegetables in my house? Shopping, perhaps? These would be good things. Man, I procrastinate on basic life sustenance like no one else I know.
OH WAIT! I had an Odwalla Superfoods drink after the gym. I just remembered this. Guess I'm over on points. Or does that count as pure fruits and veggies, so it's nothing? Am I over on points for the week, but not in that bad of a way because they were healthy-ish points? There isn't really any added sugar in that. It contains wheat grass and whatever "spirulina" is for crying out loud. I have to think a smoothie like that is not what's contributing to my overall jiggle.
(As far as I can tell wheat grass will turn you into a superhero if you consume it in large, properly freshly juiced quantities. I really have no idea what wheat grass does or why wheat grass should be better than any other kind of grass, because it all really looks the same to me. At the mini cafe at my gym they literally have a mini wheat grass lawn that lives near the juicer. The healthy barista cuts off chunks with scissors, feeds it through the juicer, and the "dry" discards come out through the front of the juicer...it's disgusting. Apparently it will save your life or something, but it looks really nasty and unappetizing.)
I am just chock full of tangents right now which probably means it's time for bed. So, getting back on track starts tomorrow, because I am so close to below 200 I can taste it, and it tastes like mini-chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches. Not sure why, but there you have it :) Good night, world.
AND now it's time to get back in order. Maybe put some vegetables in my house? Shopping, perhaps? These would be good things. Man, I procrastinate on basic life sustenance like no one else I know.
OH WAIT! I had an Odwalla Superfoods drink after the gym. I just remembered this. Guess I'm over on points. Or does that count as pure fruits and veggies, so it's nothing? Am I over on points for the week, but not in that bad of a way because they were healthy-ish points? There isn't really any added sugar in that. It contains wheat grass and whatever "spirulina" is for crying out loud. I have to think a smoothie like that is not what's contributing to my overall jiggle.
(As far as I can tell wheat grass will turn you into a superhero if you consume it in large, properly freshly juiced quantities. I really have no idea what wheat grass does or why wheat grass should be better than any other kind of grass, because it all really looks the same to me. At the mini cafe at my gym they literally have a mini wheat grass lawn that lives near the juicer. The healthy barista cuts off chunks with scissors, feeds it through the juicer, and the "dry" discards come out through the front of the juicer...it's disgusting. Apparently it will save your life or something, but it looks really nasty and unappetizing.)
I am just chock full of tangents right now which probably means it's time for bed. So, getting back on track starts tomorrow, because I am so close to below 200 I can taste it, and it tastes like mini-chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches. Not sure why, but there you have it :) Good night, world.
Tales of Recital Food
Well. It's Saturday. I have about 9 week points left. I've gone to the gym twice this week. I intended to go today but...best laid plans, I supposed. I should go tomorrow. Recital food is a major temptation, especially when all that is offered is delicious homemade sweets.
For everyone who's not a musician, recital food is an art form unto itself, or at least it was at my undergrad. It's the food at the reception after the recital. Here at grad school the receptions seem much more low key, but I have been to receptions in the past that included a full home-cooked Italian buffet, or were professionally catered, or had mountains of Chick-fil-a nuggets, or had gourmet cupcakes as far as the eye could see. At my undergrad, the food was a much bigger deal than the recital itself. This grad school...neither seem to be that big of a deal, to be honest. Attendance is much lower than my other school, so that's why the receptions are so much smaller. BUT still delicious. This one featured possibly the best chocolate chip walnut cookies I've ever had. They were also the size of my hand and twice as thick. And cupcakes. So, you know...temptation. I'm weak.
I have no idea what the food will be tomorrow. It's like the encore, always a suprise. And sometimes, much more appreciated than an encore. I hope gym attendance before (or after, I suppose, it all comes out in the wash) the recital will offset the points damage.
For everyone who's not a musician, recital food is an art form unto itself, or at least it was at my undergrad. It's the food at the reception after the recital. Here at grad school the receptions seem much more low key, but I have been to receptions in the past that included a full home-cooked Italian buffet, or were professionally catered, or had mountains of Chick-fil-a nuggets, or had gourmet cupcakes as far as the eye could see. At my undergrad, the food was a much bigger deal than the recital itself. This grad school...neither seem to be that big of a deal, to be honest. Attendance is much lower than my other school, so that's why the receptions are so much smaller. BUT still delicious. This one featured possibly the best chocolate chip walnut cookies I've ever had. They were also the size of my hand and twice as thick. And cupcakes. So, you know...temptation. I'm weak.
I have no idea what the food will be tomorrow. It's like the encore, always a suprise. And sometimes, much more appreciated than an encore. I hope gym attendance before (or after, I suppose, it all comes out in the wash) the recital will offset the points damage.
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