The update on the Whirling Hellstorm of Crap that is my housing situation is that I am moving out. On Thursday. I'll try to find another place, hopefully for not too much more rent in a more fun location. We'll see. I can't seem to nail down exactly who I'll be living with other than Viola Girl. The Hairdresser seemed interested in finding a place together, but she needs something immediately while Viola Girl won't be out here until August and since I'm homeless anyway would prefer to start paying closer to the August date. I'm perfectly happy to secure and August 1st lease in early July, couch surf until the opera I'm doing is over, and then GO HOME for the rest of July. I'm unemployed, I have to go back east for my cousin's wedding (no, no, the OTHER cousin wedding of the summer) anyway, might as well make a real thing of it.
Meanwhile, singing? Learning my rep? Getting myself in proper, working, singing order? I don't know what these things are anymore.
Also, healthy diet? Exercise? Huh? I lost last week because I was too stressed out to be hungry. So...yay? Not the way I'd prefer to do things. The dire combination of opera staging, packing, and stress as left my diet and physical well being so far down on the list I can hardly read it. But I can't really get too hard on myself about things like that right now. Yes, I'm disappointed that I'm not a super hero with the worlds most fantastic willpower, but if I worry and stress about anything else, I will actually explode. And that wouldn't be very good for my physical well being either. So I'll take my wine and my cookie and my unbalanced diet of non-meals throughout the day. And eventually I'll get back to the gym, but for now I'm not worrying about that. I'll just pack up my life in 4 days and then worry about it.
Why I'm drinking
So the promised posts are not here, but you know what? I don't care. Since returning to California (and a little before) my life has become an absolute hellstorm of crap. I have crap blowing at me from all directions, mostly from hell itself. Hellstorm. Of crap. Yes. That's what we have.
I'm still unemployed. I've given up hope of finding any damn employment before the school year starts again. Fine.
But the REAL treasure of my life has been my stupid friggin' house. Because I, GENIUS that I am, thought it would be a simple thing to replace 3 housemates in a house with a July lease. NO ONE wants a July lease, apparently. WHY NOT? IT WORKED FOR ME JUST FINE! I got to ship my stuff out early, had a little bit of breathing room before the semester started...fine. Whatever. But the problem is, my house is a HOUSE, not separate rooms. If I don't fill the rooms, I still would need to pay for them. Starting July 1st. It's June 21st right now.
Unfortunately, it's not just me I'm dealing with. Signed on (in way early June, bless) is Viola Girl, who is happy to take the place and do the same thing I did last year. Also, she see the beauty of a house in a safe neighborhood near public tran for perfectly reasonable SF rent. So if the house falls through, I'm not only screwed (which I can deal with) but she's on the street too. On the street in her own town, not moving out here really until August, but on the street all the same. So up until today, it was just me and Viola Girl, and I knew that was all it was going to be. I was going to frantically pack up, my blessed Landlady was going to be super nice and let me store some stuff in the garage for 2 weeks while I slept on my fellow VDA's bunkbed for a few days. Fine. It was settled.
THEN the last hurrah happened. I had 2 people scheduled to look at the house today, the last ditch Hail Mary of prospective room seekers. Guy 1 was a no show. Fine. But Girl loved the place. She thought it was so cute! And she wants to live here! And she's super nice and respectful of bountries and has a job and is clean and is a hairdresser so maybe I can get cheap highlights sometime. Awesome, I say sarcastically.
Because NOW, if I don't find someone TOMORROW (OR TODAY, DEPENDING ON WHEN YOU READ THIS) EVERYONE is screwed. Well, not legally, no one has really signed a lease yet. Credit checks need to be done and leases need to be signed in a week. So basically, if I don't fine ONE DAMN HOUSEMATE today, I'm SOL and so are all of the lovely ladies I'd love to live with. HELL ON ICE. (which is an expression that makes no sense, but I love).
(btw, Guy 1, the previous no show, actually called later and came by around 10, but seemed unimpressed. YOU'RE unimpressed? you're the one that SLEPT through the first meeting. come on time and you'll get the better room. idiot.)
SO the next 24 hours will dictate my life and the lives of 2 other women, both of whom I hardly know but for whom I feel a great affection. I really hope something works out.
....so that's why I'm currently drinking. I hope this post was coherent and enjoyable. I'm about ready to explode.
I'm still unemployed. I've given up hope of finding any damn employment before the school year starts again. Fine.
But the REAL treasure of my life has been my stupid friggin' house. Because I, GENIUS that I am, thought it would be a simple thing to replace 3 housemates in a house with a July lease. NO ONE wants a July lease, apparently. WHY NOT? IT WORKED FOR ME JUST FINE! I got to ship my stuff out early, had a little bit of breathing room before the semester started...fine. Whatever. But the problem is, my house is a HOUSE, not separate rooms. If I don't fill the rooms, I still would need to pay for them. Starting July 1st. It's June 21st right now.
Unfortunately, it's not just me I'm dealing with. Signed on (in way early June, bless) is Viola Girl, who is happy to take the place and do the same thing I did last year. Also, she see the beauty of a house in a safe neighborhood near public tran for perfectly reasonable SF rent. So if the house falls through, I'm not only screwed (which I can deal with) but she's on the street too. On the street in her own town, not moving out here really until August, but on the street all the same. So up until today, it was just me and Viola Girl, and I knew that was all it was going to be. I was going to frantically pack up, my blessed Landlady was going to be super nice and let me store some stuff in the garage for 2 weeks while I slept on my fellow VDA's bunkbed for a few days. Fine. It was settled.
THEN the last hurrah happened. I had 2 people scheduled to look at the house today, the last ditch Hail Mary of prospective room seekers. Guy 1 was a no show. Fine. But Girl loved the place. She thought it was so cute! And she wants to live here! And she's super nice and respectful of bountries and has a job and is clean and is a hairdresser so maybe I can get cheap highlights sometime. Awesome, I say sarcastically.
Because NOW, if I don't find someone TOMORROW (OR TODAY, DEPENDING ON WHEN YOU READ THIS) EVERYONE is screwed. Well, not legally, no one has really signed a lease yet. Credit checks need to be done and leases need to be signed in a week. So basically, if I don't fine ONE DAMN HOUSEMATE today, I'm SOL and so are all of the lovely ladies I'd love to live with. HELL ON ICE. (which is an expression that makes no sense, but I love).
(btw, Guy 1, the previous no show, actually called later and came by around 10, but seemed unimpressed. YOU'RE unimpressed? you're the one that SLEPT through the first meeting. come on time and you'll get the better room. idiot.)
SO the next 24 hours will dictate my life and the lives of 2 other women, both of whom I hardly know but for whom I feel a great affection. I really hope something works out.
....so that's why I'm currently drinking. I hope this post was coherent and enjoyable. I'm about ready to explode.
Holding pattern
This post is, once again, a promise of better posts to come. It's been over 2 weeks since I've written which is mostly based on my being home and being consumed by life since returning to San Francisco. It's been crazy. I have no reports on what I've been eating since life stuff has been making me WAY too nervous and anxious to eat anything at all. So that's been fun. Anyway, that's life at the moment. Coming soon: a recap of my poor and decent decisions while at home and a SPECIAL WEDDING EDITION of Foodie vs Food. Where...I basically just talk about wedding food. Not my wedding, just so we're clear on that. But there's your teaser.
Happy Birthday to ME!
Well today (technically yesterday, I guess) is/was my birthday. Horray! Nothing much happened which was wonderful. Dinner was pretty good, at a restaurant by me that I went to once before and remembered being excellent, but today was "pretty good." I liked my food, Mom was not a fan of hers, Dad liked his, and Grandmother seemed to like hers.
As you can tell, I'm home with the parents for a week of fun filled not being in San Francisco/Family time/Friend time/Generally having more to do than I did sitting around unemployed in California. It's been very nice, but I have not counted points in 3 days. At all. Even opened the Weight Watchers site. I think I'll start again on Monday. But really, I'm home (family-childhood home). I'm going out to eat constantly. I knew this would happen, I mentally prepared for it. I'm doing my best, and really so far I feel like I'm not completely over doing it. Well...maybe a solid bit more alcohol and desserts than usual, but what are you going to do? I went for a lovely walk this morning, so at least I got some exercise in the mix.
It's pretty awesome to be getting so many compliments from family and friends about how I look. I do have to remember that, though I know I feel and look a lot better, I'm no where near my goal. Sometimes if too many people say I look good I decide it's close enough and revert back to old habits. I'm trying not to let compliments go to my head, is I guess what it comes down to. Don't worry, though. I need to go shopping tomorrow, and that always brings me back to earth. I imagine I'll still pick up a dress that should be my size and find it tight in uncomfortable places. Woo! Joys of shopping!
As you can tell, I'm home with the parents for a week of fun filled not being in San Francisco/Family time/Friend time/Generally having more to do than I did sitting around unemployed in California. It's been very nice, but I have not counted points in 3 days. At all. Even opened the Weight Watchers site. I think I'll start again on Monday. But really, I'm home (family-childhood home). I'm going out to eat constantly. I knew this would happen, I mentally prepared for it. I'm doing my best, and really so far I feel like I'm not completely over doing it. Well...maybe a solid bit more alcohol and desserts than usual, but what are you going to do? I went for a lovely walk this morning, so at least I got some exercise in the mix.
It's pretty awesome to be getting so many compliments from family and friends about how I look. I do have to remember that, though I know I feel and look a lot better, I'm no where near my goal. Sometimes if too many people say I look good I decide it's close enough and revert back to old habits. I'm trying not to let compliments go to my head, is I guess what it comes down to. Don't worry, though. I need to go shopping tomorrow, and that always brings me back to earth. I imagine I'll still pick up a dress that should be my size and find it tight in uncomfortable places. Woo! Joys of shopping!
GIVE ME BACK MY POINTS!
WOW I am inconsistent with the posting.
Well here we are, another Wednesday another weigh-in. Only 1/2 pound this week, which falls solidly into the category of "unsurprising". It also falls into the category of "bad timing." Let's take the first one. I have been doing a strange job of hitting my points this week. As in, I hit them, I think I'm within them, but...it's like 34 points of carbs or something. Reason being there are no fresh vegetables in my house. I wanted to go grocery shopping, but I'm leaving for a 12 day trip and I didn't want to make a huge run before that. Obviously this does not answer everything. "So...why didn't you buy groceries a week ago and eat those?" Yes, yes, these are all good questions. I just sort of...didn't. Now that I'm not in school and not crazy busy and have loads of (unemployed) free time, I can't seem to be bothered to do anything at all. It's a conundrum. The busier I am, the more I accomplish. So basically this week has been nothing but a cycle of practice, occasional gym, and Netflix. And actually room cleaning, but Netflix was on during most of that, so same file.
The baby tiny loss is bad timing because tomorrow at 3:30 am the shuttle picks me up to take me to the airport for my first trip home since Christmas. Yay! But this trip falls over my birthday (a day I DO NOT intend to count, so there) as well as a crazy family wedding. So...I was sort of hoping I would lose a little bit more before I left so then if I gained a pound it wouldn't be such a big thing. I doubt I'll be very successful at losing while I'm home. I think I GAINED most of this weight (well...that's not totally true, but some of it) while I was home on my year off last year. Home makes me do nothing but sit around and stuff my face. Which can be fun, but not helpful.
I also won't have gym access while I'm home since 24 hour doesn't exist around me. I would say I'll go for walks, which still may happen, but the weather back home has been in the 90s every single day. We have a treadmill in the basement but...look, it's creepy down there. There are spiders. No one ever goes down there anymore since my brother isn't home to play video games and I think the spiders have taken over, I see way more than I did when I was a kid. I don't like it. But I'll try.
So yes, bad timing on my part for not busting my butt more this week and putting me in a better place. (Also, this is stupid, but I wanted to be able to say "I've lost 35." And I'm at 34, which is great, but "35" is a better number. I am quite happy that I'm back to a whole number of weight. The ".5" was bothering me. Am I crazy? Oh you better believe it, but at least I'm aware of THAT situation).
And for the post title: stupid Weight Watchers lowered me to 33 points a day. I NEEDED THOSE 7 A WEEK, DAMMIT! POOR TIMING! I really haven't gotten the hang of these points since they dipped me below 35. I don't know why this is such a thing for me. 38 was awesome, can we go back to that? Pleeeeaasseee????
Well here we are, another Wednesday another weigh-in. Only 1/2 pound this week, which falls solidly into the category of "unsurprising". It also falls into the category of "bad timing." Let's take the first one. I have been doing a strange job of hitting my points this week. As in, I hit them, I think I'm within them, but...it's like 34 points of carbs or something. Reason being there are no fresh vegetables in my house. I wanted to go grocery shopping, but I'm leaving for a 12 day trip and I didn't want to make a huge run before that. Obviously this does not answer everything. "So...why didn't you buy groceries a week ago and eat those?" Yes, yes, these are all good questions. I just sort of...didn't. Now that I'm not in school and not crazy busy and have loads of (unemployed) free time, I can't seem to be bothered to do anything at all. It's a conundrum. The busier I am, the more I accomplish. So basically this week has been nothing but a cycle of practice, occasional gym, and Netflix. And actually room cleaning, but Netflix was on during most of that, so same file.
The baby tiny loss is bad timing because tomorrow at 3:30 am the shuttle picks me up to take me to the airport for my first trip home since Christmas. Yay! But this trip falls over my birthday (a day I DO NOT intend to count, so there) as well as a crazy family wedding. So...I was sort of hoping I would lose a little bit more before I left so then if I gained a pound it wouldn't be such a big thing. I doubt I'll be very successful at losing while I'm home. I think I GAINED most of this weight (well...that's not totally true, but some of it) while I was home on my year off last year. Home makes me do nothing but sit around and stuff my face. Which can be fun, but not helpful.
I also won't have gym access while I'm home since 24 hour doesn't exist around me. I would say I'll go for walks, which still may happen, but the weather back home has been in the 90s every single day. We have a treadmill in the basement but...look, it's creepy down there. There are spiders. No one ever goes down there anymore since my brother isn't home to play video games and I think the spiders have taken over, I see way more than I did when I was a kid. I don't like it. But I'll try.
So yes, bad timing on my part for not busting my butt more this week and putting me in a better place. (Also, this is stupid, but I wanted to be able to say "I've lost 35." And I'm at 34, which is great, but "35" is a better number. I am quite happy that I'm back to a whole number of weight. The ".5" was bothering me. Am I crazy? Oh you better believe it, but at least I'm aware of THAT situation).
And for the post title: stupid Weight Watchers lowered me to 33 points a day. I NEEDED THOSE 7 A WEEK, DAMMIT! POOR TIMING! I really haven't gotten the hang of these points since they dipped me below 35. I don't know why this is such a thing for me. 38 was awesome, can we go back to that? Pleeeeaasseee????
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